Friendly Fire
by Amayanaoki Yazen
Summary: Spy abuses Sniper's trust one too many times. Now he must make up for it with a daring rescue.


DISCLAIMER: Team Fortress 2 belongs to its rightful owners and not me.

Friendly Fire

Spy wandered through the courtyard of his team's base, feeling bored. The enemy had not yet attacked his side. They had been set up their defenses for what felt like hours already. He had spied on them and found their setup laughable. He had decided to come back later when he had a real challenge. In the meantime, he wondered what he could do to lessen his boredom. He glanced up at a familiar tall figure on the Battlements. A wide grin appeared on his face. "I know what to do now. I'll play with Sniper!"

With a snicker, he insisted on wandering toward the stairwell. Quiet footsteps made sure Sniper wouldn't hear his approach. He was confused when he heard grumbling within Sniper's secluded nest.

"It's so bloody boring! I'm falling asleep here" came the gruff gunman's mutter. The Australian sighed heavily. He pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes. "I'll take a nap then."

A long silence passed. Sniper's keen ears detected the flutter of bird wings nearby. He disregarded it. Slowly, sleep began to claim him.

BOOM!

The gunman gasped while flailing his arms. He viewed the floor in front of him. His coffee cup had fallen and spilled the contents everywhere. He immediately suspected the bird which sat quietly cooing on the crate where his cup had formerly rested. "You bird-brain!" he exclaimed. Sniper snatched his cup and swatted at the pest. It flew to the window sil where it stubbornly remained.

Sniper abandoned his position to fetch paper towels. When he returned the bird had knocked his quiver to the floor and scattered every arrow within. "That's it! Get out!" Sniper scared the bird off with a fierce expression while forming his fingers into claws. "Just when I try to relax, nature attacks!" he complained.

He went to sit down and fell flat on his back. The crate he was sitting on had moved! Now he was certain something was amiss. He folded his arms over his red clothed chest. His expression happened to be one of anger. He spoke in a quiet yet stern tone. "It can only be one of two irritating pikers. Either you or the BLU! So come on out."

Spy poofed into existence when Sniper picked up a jar of Jarate. "Okay, you've got me!" he admitted. "I was only having a little fun."

"Your fun was at my expense" Sniper moped. He rubbed his sore back. "What if I'd fallen and broken my bloody neck? Then I'd have been stuck in the Respawn while the other team could have started attacking. You'd be out of luck for cover fire."

Spy glanced at the ground. That could have been a possibility but he doubted a man of profession like Sniper would have fallen victim so easily to an accident like that. "C'est la vie."

Sniper grasped the Frenchman's lapels and brought him close to his own face. "No friendly fire!"

"Very well!" Spy slinked off and disappeared.

10 minutes later, he could not resist the impulse to torment Sniper a little more. To his surprise, Sniper was nowhere to be found within his nest. Spy pondered his location. His arrows were cleaned. His cup had been put back into place. It remained unfilled. Sniper had possibly gone to fetch a coffee pot since none were in view. The bird once again sat on the windowsill. It preened its white feathers.

"I can fill Sniper's coffee pot with tea" Spy snickered. He ran to the break room hoping to reach it before Sniper did. Before he had descended the stairs fully, he witnessed traces of blood. Thoughts of pranking his team mate exited his mind as he went faster along the steps.

Spy entered the enemy's fortress and walked down the hallway. He searched the unusually quiet innards of the fort. He saw no signs of Sniper. Eventually he viewed more droplets of blood. They formed a trail along the light blue painted cement which lead to a trapdoor. Spy stiffened in place when he heard approaching footsteps. It was the enemy Scout. The boy was only walking while throwing a baseball from palm to palm. He never saw Spy's hidden form when he walked past. Spy picked the lock on the trapdoor and ventured inside. He defended numerous stairs before stepping into a dungeon.

He gasped when he saw the BLU Spy chaining Sniper to the wall with his shirtless back to him. The Spy removed a long whip from the table of "toys" nearby. He disregarded the anger in his enemy's eyes before bringing his arm back. The scourge fell upon Sniper's exposed skin again and again. The sight of the bloody scars began to excite him. "I knew you would enjoy this, mon ennemi!" He insisted on whipping the Australian a few more times before erupting into sadistic laughter.

The enemy Frenchman's hand reached for a new torture device. He groped but found it missing when he observed the empty tray of tools. His eyes grew wide in shock, then small again in annoyance. He knew immediately that his counterpart was in the vicinity. He was determined to not let his red doppelganger ruin his fun.

"Well, it seems one of your dear friends has come to save you. But I will see to it that he does not!" Spy declared. He withdrew his knife and displayed it proudly. He twirled his hand while his keen senses helped him to search for his hidden enemy. He heard a noise and stabbed the knife into the RED Spy's chest. "Ha!"

Sniper viewed his attempted rescuer collapsing to the ground. How much torture would he be forced to endure before another rescue attempt was made? He wordlessly mumbled his discontent from behind his cloth gag.

BLU Spy kicked the corpse of his fallen counterpart. "You were always a fool. I am and always will be the better Spy!" He turned around and found himself face to face with his formerly deceased counterpart. The opposing Frenchman stared at him with gleefully murderous intentions. The BLU Spy attempted to defend himself but could not avoid the heavy metal carrying tray in time. It connected with his head and out his lights went.

The BLU Spy slowly opened his eyes before groaning in pain. He viewed his formerly subdued enemies in front of him. He immediately began to regret capturing the RED Sniper and whipping him. He found himself chained to the torture wall which the RED Sniper had previously occupied. He gasped when observing the whip and cattle prod the men now held. "Oh no!" he whispered.

"Nothing like a turn of the tables, mate!" Sniper smiled. He brought the scourge down on his enemy's chest in the same way he had done to his back.

"No!" screamed the BLU Spy. He did not tolerate pain as well as others. Sniper disregarded his cries and pleas for mercy.

"Let these scars be a reminder not to ever do this again" Sniper told him. He whipped the captive Frenchman's thighs a few times for good measure. He shrieked like a girl.

"Done with your whipping boy, mon ami?" Spy asked Sniper. "We shouldn't be having fun down in the enemy's secret dungeon when there is more fun to be had upstairs."

Sniper noded. "I think I'll keep this as a souvenir." He placed the cattle prod inside his vest.

"Aw. I wanted that one" Spy whispered while pouting.

"You're lucky you got here in time, mate. I wouldn't have forgiven you so easily if I'd been zapped by that gizmo!" Sniper grumbled. He stood and allowed Spy to patch up his wounds with the medkit he had brought along. Sniper replaced his discarded clothing items.

Sniper looked at him expectantly. "Well?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you so much" Spy admitted.

"No more friendly fire" Sniper reminded him. He placed his sunglasses back on and looked stern.

"No more friendly fire" Spy agreed.

"Good."

That was when Sniper hit Spy with a jar of Jarate. Spy howled.

"Like I was sayin', no more friendly fire unless it's during ceasefire!" He ran.

"Snipeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" Spy yelled. He cringed afterward, having set off the BLU team's intruder alarm.

Before he ran, he "pantsed" the BLU Spy for added humiliation.

The End


End file.
